Funny thing. I was going through all my mail and found the usual newspaper from the hospital. I skimmed through it figuring I wouldn't find anything of interest (again) and toss it. But I read one small article about a symposium on ADHD kids. That wasn't the interesting part - it was two sessions in particular - one on ODD kids and the other on Not Fighting to Get Homework Done. Oh my God, He does work miracles! Help is right here. I cut out the article and called the first thing in the morning and registered.
It was a good seminar. Most of the information was reinforcement, and that is always a good thing for a tired mom to hear again. I need boosting and reinforcement! Most of all I came away knowing that I'm on the right track, I'm not alone, and I can find someone who knows what I'm dealing with right here in my own city.
Saturday, January 31, 2004
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
Wrapped and Snapped and Go
| I liked the curls so much I'm attempting this again. I bought another set of the curlers, so now I have 24 to use. I used 21 this time, and will probably use them all the next time I attempt this. I might buy another set so the curls will dry faster. It didn't take much time to wrap, maybe 20 minutes. I'll sleep on them and in the morning use the low setting on my blow dryer to ensure they are dried thoroughly before I go to work. I hope I can find my blow dryer! I haven't used it in years. |  |
 | I didn't have to blow dry this morning because my hair was dry! That's good news. Taking out the curlers was easy and simple. I was happy the curls shortened my hair so much. I did notice a place or two that didn't curl as well. |
| Combing it out was more difficut than I had remembered from just last week. I tried my comb - no good. Then a wider spaced comb - no good. Finally I resorted to my wide wide shower comb and that helped. I also tried a pick and that was okay, but it really didn't comb much. Now I know why so many curly people just finger comb their hair. After combing I did notice one or two spots that didn't curl as much, probably because I had too much hair on the curler. But still I'm very happy. I gave up on really combing out all the hair and settled on just getting the curls to look natural and not like they just came off a curler. I don't know if I achieved my goal, but I pulled it back into my Arizona barette. I call it that because I got the barette in Arizona at an Indian gift shop. I'm sure it can be bought elsewhere. |  |
Everyone at work loved the new curls. Many thought I had gotten a perm; I was so happy to say it was just curls from curlers. The curls lasted longer than I had expected. When I got home I was still very curly but I could tell it wouldn't last much longer. At the end of the day, I tried to comb my hair and instantly knew this was going to be a task from hell. It didn't help that I was extremely tired and just wanted to go to bed. But I knew if I didn't comb now, it would be hell in the morning. And since I'm NOT a morning person, I'll do anything to make my mornings easier.
I laid out my arsenal of combs and sat down in front of the television to numb my mind. Just seperating the hair into two parts was a mess. I was a head of tangles. Using my fingers, I divided my hair and worked on one tiny section at a time. First one comb, then the other, then back again and stopping to work a tangle with my fingers. This was like surgery to me. After the better part of an hour I was done. So I went to bed exhausted and having a grander respect for all the curly and wavy long hair people.
Saturday, January 24, 2004
Hell in a Handbasket
I knew it wouldn't last, and I knew it was coming. Alan is now on my shit list once again. Every evening he has homework and he moans about doing it, puts it off, then at the last minute and under screams from me he whips it out and does it. Not well, and sometimes not at all. Now the teacher sends back his work and wants it completed. I don't know how many times she writes SHOW YOUR WORK on the stuff but it doesn't sink in.
So this week is like any other.... Alan finally does it. I ask to see it. Tonight's was a paragraph writting exercise. He brings it over (mad because he has to bring it to me) and we take a look. We do it the same way every time I do any checks with him: look it over one sentence/problem at a time, I ask if it's okay, and if not he tells me what it should be. First few sentences he corrects fine but of couse he tells me that I don't need to ask "is this one okay?" as he knows what to do. The next sentence he thinks is okay but I tell him I think the word 'he' doesn't need to be capitalized. He disagrees. I tell him that he isn't a proper name and it isn't in the beginning of the sentence, so it doesn't need it. He says it does. I say well let's look in your notebook and see if there are other examples. "Mom I don't want you to go proving me wrong, I hate that" I tell him its not personal, but he's wrong and needs to correct it. "NO" I then say that I'm here to help him with his homework, does he need it or not? "No I don't" Fine, I toss his notebook onto the floor and push him off my chair.
The same thing happened last week when he insisted that the days of the week didn't need to be capitalized. I didn't toss his stuff, but the argument was worse.
I've had it with this little shit. He is always right, I'm always wrong. I can't talk the way he wants me to, I don't drive my car properly, I can't fix any food he'll eat, I can't say or choose or do anything right according to him.
Leave me alone
I know what I'm doing
I don't want you telling me what to do
You don't have to tell me, I already know that
Don't bother me
Why didn't you get that instead?
Why did you have to pick me up here, couldn't you have done it there?
Why did you park here?
I don't need to do that
Why is it always me that has to do this?
Why can't Grace do it?
How come you get to pick? I never get to.
over and over and over and over I hear this every single day. I've listened to it for so long that most of it just passes through me. Yes I've learned to ignore most of it. But you know, there comes a time when a child should learn how to speak to a parent, and all of the above is rude and disrespectful.
And if I say anything in reponse to the above, I then enter into an argument about it. I don't want the argument, and I cut him off. STOP IT right there, do not argue with me little boy. But he doesn't listen. And I wind up popping him. I hate it. But let me tell you, I don't hurt him, but boy if you could see his act you'd think the very touch of my skin to his is like pouring acid on him. Which makes me even more angry.
So... either I ignore the rudeness and seem like a parent who lets her son say whatever he wants, or I beat my child. I hate both. I will not stand for this, but I can't see a solution.
Last night I got so mad after sending him to his room without supper, I screamed at the top of my lungs in frustration. And I couldn't calm down, so I got my keys and told Grace I needed to get out of here. Trouble is I was crying so much I didn't want to go far, and I couldn't really go anywhere in that shape. I just wanted to scream forever. I finally made it to Ron's house and I stayed there for a few hours. I called mom and told her just in case.
So this week is like any other.... Alan finally does it. I ask to see it. Tonight's was a paragraph writting exercise. He brings it over (mad because he has to bring it to me) and we take a look. We do it the same way every time I do any checks with him: look it over one sentence/problem at a time, I ask if it's okay, and if not he tells me what it should be. First few sentences he corrects fine but of couse he tells me that I don't need to ask "is this one okay?" as he knows what to do. The next sentence he thinks is okay but I tell him I think the word 'he' doesn't need to be capitalized. He disagrees. I tell him that he isn't a proper name and it isn't in the beginning of the sentence, so it doesn't need it. He says it does. I say well let's look in your notebook and see if there are other examples. "Mom I don't want you to go proving me wrong, I hate that" I tell him its not personal, but he's wrong and needs to correct it. "NO" I then say that I'm here to help him with his homework, does he need it or not? "No I don't" Fine, I toss his notebook onto the floor and push him off my chair.
The same thing happened last week when he insisted that the days of the week didn't need to be capitalized. I didn't toss his stuff, but the argument was worse.
I've had it with this little shit. He is always right, I'm always wrong. I can't talk the way he wants me to, I don't drive my car properly, I can't fix any food he'll eat, I can't say or choose or do anything right according to him.
Leave me alone
I know what I'm doing
I don't want you telling me what to do
You don't have to tell me, I already know that
Don't bother me
Why didn't you get that instead?
Why did you have to pick me up here, couldn't you have done it there?
Why did you park here?
I don't need to do that
Why is it always me that has to do this?
Why can't Grace do it?
How come you get to pick? I never get to.
over and over and over and over I hear this every single day. I've listened to it for so long that most of it just passes through me. Yes I've learned to ignore most of it. But you know, there comes a time when a child should learn how to speak to a parent, and all of the above is rude and disrespectful.
And if I say anything in reponse to the above, I then enter into an argument about it. I don't want the argument, and I cut him off. STOP IT right there, do not argue with me little boy. But he doesn't listen. And I wind up popping him. I hate it. But let me tell you, I don't hurt him, but boy if you could see his act you'd think the very touch of my skin to his is like pouring acid on him. Which makes me even more angry.
So... either I ignore the rudeness and seem like a parent who lets her son say whatever he wants, or I beat my child. I hate both. I will not stand for this, but I can't see a solution.
Last night I got so mad after sending him to his room without supper, I screamed at the top of my lungs in frustration. And I couldn't calm down, so I got my keys and told Grace I needed to get out of here. Trouble is I was crying so much I didn't want to go far, and I couldn't really go anywhere in that shape. I just wanted to scream forever. I finally made it to Ron's house and I stayed there for a few hours. I called mom and told her just in case.
States I've Been To (in red)
I can't say I've lived everywhere, but I have been to a few states. I will probably get around to visiting them all sooner or later. Some I've only visited briefly on our way to another destination and so I'd like to revist and stay longer. Click here to create your own visited states map They also have a visited country map, but I can count those on one hand: USA, Canada, Mexico, Turkey, England (do airports count?) and Japan. Okay, that's six if you count airports. Oops! I forgot about the cruise! Wow, I can add Puerto Rico, St Thomas, St Kitts, St Lucia, Barbados, and Dominica!
Thursday, January 15, 2004
Curls!
> | I've thought about curling my hair for a while now and wasn't sure how I was going to attempt this. I'm hair-implement challenged and have used curlers rarely. I bought some of those wrap snap and go curlers long ago at Claire's to use in my daughter's hair. We never used them. I dusted them off and decided to give it a try. They are more of a spongy stick than a curler. There were only 12 sticks and I knew this was going to be a problem. But I put them in, slept on them overnight and through most of the day. And voila! I like them. I need more of the curlers though, there are some flat spots and my hair would dry faster with more curlers. |
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
My Kids are Great
As sure as I post this, things will screw up. But I wanted to say how proud I am of my kids.
Grace got straight A's this semester. This term we had to go to the school to get her report card and have this parent/student review where Grace goes through each of her grades and tells me a bit about it and what she plans on doing to improve. Nothing different than we do at home when she gets her report cards, but I'm sure there are plenty of parents where that isn't true. I met her reading teacher tonight and she gushed about how great and pretty she was. It was very nice of her to say so, and a little embarrassing for me. sheesh, what a nice problem for me eh? It was funny too, because Grace stressed to me that I'm not to talk to the teacher except for a Hello. But it was the teacher that started it. lol
Then Alan. Alan. His grades were good too, not as good as Grace's but good for Alan. He didn't raise his English C, but it didn't lower either. All B's and that C. I'm happy. He didn't do so well in behavior; that's something I don't know if he'll ever improve.
He's doing exceptional in Kenpo Karate though. After last month and Mr Castro giving up his studio I wasn't sure if we'd have a teacher. Truitt Weiland is a great teacher and Alan loves learning from him. He's doing really well and looks so sharp practising his techniques.
We are doing pretty well at home too. He's been grounded once for smarting off with me this month. He came out later apologizing pretty well, but I didn't let him off (but I was so ready to cave in) and he understood. Other than that, our fights have been regulated to mostly his attempts at telling me what I should have said/how I should have acted/driven. He's the critic of all time.
I've mulled over whether I should take him back to the counselor. When we left him we had this goal of doing better in the behavior at school. In the beginning of the school year it looked like he was improving, but now, it's apparent that was very temporary. I SO want Alan to be better in this area, but I don't know if I'm asking for too much. It really pains me to think that on game day (4 times a year) he can't play because his behavior points were over the limit. I think it hurts Alan's feelings too, but he's so used to it he doesn't show any emotion about it anymore.
Grace got straight A's this semester. This term we had to go to the school to get her report card and have this parent/student review where Grace goes through each of her grades and tells me a bit about it and what she plans on doing to improve. Nothing different than we do at home when she gets her report cards, but I'm sure there are plenty of parents where that isn't true. I met her reading teacher tonight and she gushed about how great and pretty she was. It was very nice of her to say so, and a little embarrassing for me. sheesh, what a nice problem for me eh? It was funny too, because Grace stressed to me that I'm not to talk to the teacher except for a Hello. But it was the teacher that started it. lol
Then Alan. Alan. His grades were good too, not as good as Grace's but good for Alan. He didn't raise his English C, but it didn't lower either. All B's and that C. I'm happy. He didn't do so well in behavior; that's something I don't know if he'll ever improve.
He's doing exceptional in Kenpo Karate though. After last month and Mr Castro giving up his studio I wasn't sure if we'd have a teacher. Truitt Weiland is a great teacher and Alan loves learning from him. He's doing really well and looks so sharp practising his techniques.
We are doing pretty well at home too. He's been grounded once for smarting off with me this month. He came out later apologizing pretty well, but I didn't let him off (but I was so ready to cave in) and he understood. Other than that, our fights have been regulated to mostly his attempts at telling me what I should have said/how I should have acted/driven. He's the critic of all time.
I've mulled over whether I should take him back to the counselor. When we left him we had this goal of doing better in the behavior at school. In the beginning of the school year it looked like he was improving, but now, it's apparent that was very temporary. I SO want Alan to be better in this area, but I don't know if I'm asking for too much. It really pains me to think that on game day (4 times a year) he can't play because his behavior points were over the limit. I think it hurts Alan's feelings too, but he's so used to it he doesn't show any emotion about it anymore.
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
Shea Butter and Vinegar
A long while back I read so many great things about shea butter for the hair. I bought a 1lb jar and tried it. It was a mess. I didn't use too much, but it left my hair in clumpy sticks. Not at all soft and lovely. End of shea butter for the hair odessy. But all is not lost. My skin loves shea butter. I practically could dip myself in a vat of the melted stuff and my skin would begin sucking it in.
Anyways, there has been some chatter about shea butter on LHC again (great hair site, go visit it if you haven't had a chance yet.) So I decided to try it again but in a different manner. I put it on while my hair was still damp, nearly wet. And my hair liked it! I'm going to continue doing it and see what the affects are. Stay tuned
The other hair routine chane is that I'm going back to vinegar rinses. My hairline is so flaky it is driving me nuts. Instead of using conditioner after shampooing, I'm pouring a quart of warm water with 4-8 oz of vinegar over my hair and then combing while wet. It's doing great so far.
Anyways, there has been some chatter about shea butter on LHC again (great hair site, go visit it if you haven't had a chance yet.) So I decided to try it again but in a different manner. I put it on while my hair was still damp, nearly wet. And my hair liked it! I'm going to continue doing it and see what the affects are. Stay tuned
The other hair routine chane is that I'm going back to vinegar rinses. My hairline is so flaky it is driving me nuts. Instead of using conditioner after shampooing, I'm pouring a quart of warm water with 4-8 oz of vinegar over my hair and then combing while wet. It's doing great so far.
Monday, January 05, 2004
Minnesota for Christmas
This year for our vacation we decided to take a winter trip. The kids haven't really seen much snow and they wanted to play in the snow. Sounds like a good idea to me, now where to? I didn't want anyplace full of tourists with high prices and long lines. Most of Colorado was out. Minnesota sounded really good to me; surely they have snow every year and it's an easy drive straight up I-35.
So we ventured off: me, my kids (9yo Alan, 12yo Grace), my sister and her two (13yo Russell, 12yo David) boys and our mom. We rented a 12 passenger van so we had plenty of room for the long drive (two long days getting there and three longish ones driving home.) Somehow even with a van that big it wasn't big enough to prevent the kids from bickering (he's taking up space, she's pushing me in the back, I hear his CD playing too loud, etc) sigh
We left on Christmas morning. By the end of the day I was pretty tired of IHOPs and Denny's (the only places open on Christmas.) We made it to Kansas City the first night. Not bad at all. And this is with 4 kids and three adults. Plus we had to stop in every state so Alan could pee au nautrel (his lifelong goal to pee in every state.)
The condo in Nisswa was awesome. Two bedrooms in a two story split level condo with a hot tub in a sun room. The living room had a gas fireplace and a wall of windows looking out into a wooded area. The kitchen shared that same great view. It would be a great place to stay in the summer months too. We bought some bird seed and scattered it out on the deck and barbeque grill and had quite a show of birds and squirrels during the week. We even saw a bunch of deer walking through the trees late one day.
Since my son was having his 10th birthday on this trip, we decided to celebrate it by spending the day at Camp Snoopy in the Mall of the Americas. We all had a blast, the rides were good and varied for everyone's tastes. The rest of the mall was huge. We didn't shop much (how can you with 3 boys?) and it wasn't necessary anyways - most of the stores seemed to be the same as what we have in our malls in Texas. We did visit a Christmas store that had some super sales. I bought some glass snowmen ornaments to commemorate our Christmas trip.
We also got to celebrate New Years there. It was strange indeed to see fireworks for sale in the stores. It's illegal in our city, so the kids were thrilled to be able to shoot off some fireworks. We stuck a bunch of sparklers in the snow and lit them for a real pretty effect. Besides the fireworks the kids also bought some other firework. I wasn't too sure how to set it up to fire it (toss it, anchor it, lay it on the ground) so the first time I set it down on the deck. It spun around melting the little bit of snow on the decking and making a nice charred space on the deck. So the next time I put the firework on the snow off the deck. The thing sputtered and then took off straight towards the deck and proceeded to burn into the side of the deck! Finally on the third try I got smart and we moved out onto the driveway away from wood decking. hehe
We bought some sleds for the kids and they used them to traipse through the woods and find sledding hills. There were a few good hills and trails that were a lot of fun. But they also tried some hills that were definetly not good. Alan kept wanting to take this one hill that dropped abruptly. And the hills that ended on the roads were also forbidden but very inviting (of course). We also had fun walking on the frozen lake and checking out the fish huts. The resort had cleared off a portion of the lake and filled it for ice skating but we never got around to giving that a try. The kids were having too much fun sledding. It snowed one full day and night which really thrilled us. I wish it had snowed a lot more, but then that would have made driving and my mother a hassle I don't need.
We played games (cranium, guesstures, blurt) and worked on a few puzzles. We had hot cocoa (with peppermint schnapps for me) and sat in the hot tub. Mostly we laughed at all the clothes and gloves and hats and long johns we had to wear to keep warm!
We went skiing at a local ski slope. Mom had no desire to watch us break our legs, so she stayed home and waited for the inevitable call from the emergency room. We got everyone skiis and boots fitted and then headed out to the bunny hill for our lesson. I knew how to ski from years past, but the others didn't know a thing. My sister made it walking to the tow rope of the bunny hill and had to rest. She got down MAYBE 1/4 of the bunny hill when she decided that she had enough fun and went back to the lodge. I stayed with the kids and skiied with them. The older kids skiied on some of the other hills while Alan and I stayed on the easier slopes. He wasn't too happy with this skiing thing but he eventually got the confidence to have some fun. He stuck to the tow rope on the bunny hill though. My kids hated riding the chair lift. They are my kids, cause I hate it too. And of course the thing HAS to stop when i'm on it. Geez, I nearly had a fit from the rocking. Usually I just close my eyes, but I kept feeling like I was falling out of the chair. I tried my best to be good and not be a whiny butt just for my kids, but it didn't work. :( I did pretty well skiing. It had been years (wow, back in the early 80's) since I last skiied but I didn't forget much at all. I fell just once going down a hill too fast and unable to slow down. Back at the condo I felt sore all over, so I jumped into the hot tub to ease the muscles. It helped I'm sure but I was still sore; my arms hurt from grabbing onto the tow rope, my shins hurt, my calves.... the list goes on.
We did some shopping in Nisswa, the small town nearest to our condo. Most of the gift shops close for the winter, and so many were having sales. The favorite shop of all is the Chocolate Ox, the candy store. They were selling the best fudge ever for $1.00 a pound! Needless to say we bought a lot of fudge.
I took quite a few pictures of our trip
So we ventured off: me, my kids (9yo Alan, 12yo Grace), my sister and her two (13yo Russell, 12yo David) boys and our mom. We rented a 12 passenger van so we had plenty of room for the long drive (two long days getting there and three longish ones driving home.) Somehow even with a van that big it wasn't big enough to prevent the kids from bickering (he's taking up space, she's pushing me in the back, I hear his CD playing too loud, etc) sigh
We left on Christmas morning. By the end of the day I was pretty tired of IHOPs and Denny's (the only places open on Christmas.) We made it to Kansas City the first night. Not bad at all. And this is with 4 kids and three adults. Plus we had to stop in every state so Alan could pee au nautrel (his lifelong goal to pee in every state.)
The condo in Nisswa was awesome. Two bedrooms in a two story split level condo with a hot tub in a sun room. The living room had a gas fireplace and a wall of windows looking out into a wooded area. The kitchen shared that same great view. It would be a great place to stay in the summer months too. We bought some bird seed and scattered it out on the deck and barbeque grill and had quite a show of birds and squirrels during the week. We even saw a bunch of deer walking through the trees late one day.
Since my son was having his 10th birthday on this trip, we decided to celebrate it by spending the day at Camp Snoopy in the Mall of the Americas. We all had a blast, the rides were good and varied for everyone's tastes. The rest of the mall was huge. We didn't shop much (how can you with 3 boys?) and it wasn't necessary anyways - most of the stores seemed to be the same as what we have in our malls in Texas. We did visit a Christmas store that had some super sales. I bought some glass snowmen ornaments to commemorate our Christmas trip.
We also got to celebrate New Years there. It was strange indeed to see fireworks for sale in the stores. It's illegal in our city, so the kids were thrilled to be able to shoot off some fireworks. We stuck a bunch of sparklers in the snow and lit them for a real pretty effect. Besides the fireworks the kids also bought some other firework. I wasn't too sure how to set it up to fire it (toss it, anchor it, lay it on the ground) so the first time I set it down on the deck. It spun around melting the little bit of snow on the decking and making a nice charred space on the deck. So the next time I put the firework on the snow off the deck. The thing sputtered and then took off straight towards the deck and proceeded to burn into the side of the deck! Finally on the third try I got smart and we moved out onto the driveway away from wood decking. hehe
We bought some sleds for the kids and they used them to traipse through the woods and find sledding hills. There were a few good hills and trails that were a lot of fun. But they also tried some hills that were definetly not good. Alan kept wanting to take this one hill that dropped abruptly. And the hills that ended on the roads were also forbidden but very inviting (of course). We also had fun walking on the frozen lake and checking out the fish huts. The resort had cleared off a portion of the lake and filled it for ice skating but we never got around to giving that a try. The kids were having too much fun sledding. It snowed one full day and night which really thrilled us. I wish it had snowed a lot more, but then that would have made driving and my mother a hassle I don't need.
We played games (cranium, guesstures, blurt) and worked on a few puzzles. We had hot cocoa (with peppermint schnapps for me) and sat in the hot tub. Mostly we laughed at all the clothes and gloves and hats and long johns we had to wear to keep warm!
We went skiing at a local ski slope. Mom had no desire to watch us break our legs, so she stayed home and waited for the inevitable call from the emergency room. We got everyone skiis and boots fitted and then headed out to the bunny hill for our lesson. I knew how to ski from years past, but the others didn't know a thing. My sister made it walking to the tow rope of the bunny hill and had to rest. She got down MAYBE 1/4 of the bunny hill when she decided that she had enough fun and went back to the lodge. I stayed with the kids and skiied with them. The older kids skiied on some of the other hills while Alan and I stayed on the easier slopes. He wasn't too happy with this skiing thing but he eventually got the confidence to have some fun. He stuck to the tow rope on the bunny hill though. My kids hated riding the chair lift. They are my kids, cause I hate it too. And of course the thing HAS to stop when i'm on it. Geez, I nearly had a fit from the rocking. Usually I just close my eyes, but I kept feeling like I was falling out of the chair. I tried my best to be good and not be a whiny butt just for my kids, but it didn't work. :( I did pretty well skiing. It had been years (wow, back in the early 80's) since I last skiied but I didn't forget much at all. I fell just once going down a hill too fast and unable to slow down. Back at the condo I felt sore all over, so I jumped into the hot tub to ease the muscles. It helped I'm sure but I was still sore; my arms hurt from grabbing onto the tow rope, my shins hurt, my calves.... the list goes on.
We did some shopping in Nisswa, the small town nearest to our condo. Most of the gift shops close for the winter, and so many were having sales. The favorite shop of all is the Chocolate Ox, the candy store. They were selling the best fudge ever for $1.00 a pound! Needless to say we bought a lot of fudge.
I took quite a few pictures of our trip