7 years later

Wow, it's been 7 years since my last post.  Not that anyone really cares, but me.  I'm still single, still living in the same house, still working where I did.  Kids have grown and moved out (mostly) and I love hearing from them like any mom does.

I'm trying to retire from work with a disability retirement because of my depression.  When I get into a bad state, it keeps me down for a while before I really realize what's going on.  Even when I'm stable, I still have a hard time functioning. I'm just not all there like I used to be.

But I'm trying.

To Dallas and Back Again

I made a quick trip up to Frisco this weekend.  It was to meet Karen, a fellow LHC member and an all around nice gal. Her hubby, Smooch, and she flew down from Chicago and since she was in Texas I couldn't help but take advantage of the opportunity to meet her.   Teacherbear also came too.  She's a fun person as well, it always makes me smile to be in her company.  We would have drove together but I had to come back earlier than usual.  It made for a long drive without a friend to chat with.    For more on this trip, go to the LHC thread.
 
It was a fun time. I so wished I could have stayed longer, but I had to think of my kids and get back to them. I was so happy I drove there by myself and didn't need to call Teacherbear for directions. I warned her that I would if I got lost. I think the last time I went with LongHairedRennie we were talking too much and I missed seeing the tollway exit.
 
When I arrived at Bill's (who by the way is looking svelte!) Karen was sitting pretty in wax paper and pink heat cap. We smiled instantly and hugged each other a few times. I couldn't believe Karen's beautiful blue eyes! Her skin is soft and pale and her hair is so dark and lucious the combination makes her look like a china doll. She's precious!
 
I got Bill to measure me and trim my hair. Before was 42" and after was 39.5" It's now back to tailbone (he called it classic btw, weird huh?) and in the shape of a rounded square, if that makes sense.
 
We chatted a lot before Teacherbear arrived and before Bill had to work on her hair and put her under the dryer. I got a bunch of pics, but most are face shots, so I'll be sending them to Karen for her editing and posting if she pleases. After the comb out, we tried to take a shot of her flipping her hair back, but I was either too slow or too fast.  darn
 
After the GM treatment, we headed to Blue Mesa and their kooky sweet potato chips. I took an instant distaste for them, but in my grazing fashion I continued to munch on them and decided they indeed were good, but it has to grow on you. I left after meeting Smooch, who is a nice guy and sweet too. Karen's gift of the Lush stuff was a surprise and I'm going to use them soon. They smell so good!
 
I forgot about taking a group shot! Darn it all. But still it was a pleasure to meet Karen and of course Teacherbear too.
 
I came home to find my dog has had an encounter with a skunk! It was too late for a bath, so I had smelly dog in the house (I finally put him outside) and wound up with a headache. Bad smells make me sick.

The Great Conditioner Only Experiment

So many people have told me about this CO washing and how it has really set their hair on fire with softness and body. My hair needs body, but it doesn't need greasy. Ever since I was a young girl and learning to wash on my own mom told me that the conditioner coated my hair and attracted dirt which caused my hair to get dirty faster. And ever since then I've been using Apple Cider Vinegar as a rinse to close the cuticle and add shine and slip to my hair. Plus it works as a fantastic clarifer for the hard water that I've got at home.

So the CO thing was very adverse to me. Just didn't make sense. Still doesn't, but I'm finally going to give it a try. I've been battling flakes around my hairline for ages. Nothing helps except Nizoral. I've been using it for 3 weeks and have seen a real difference. Now that I've got a big gun in my arsenal, I'm willing to experiment a bit and see if the CO routine is good for me and my hair.

So, tonight, Thursday May 20th, I did a CO wash. I used Suave Daily Clarifying Conditioner and I used loads of it. Almost half the bottle. I don't know if that is good, but it didn't feel saturated on my head. The back part of my hair especially felt dry and left out. After washing with the CO, I put some on all the length and coiled it up and shaved my legs. Then I rinsed the conditioner out of my hair and combed it smooth. It took quite a long time for the water to run clear. At least I think it ran clear. Then I rinsed with ACV as usual and wrapped that up while I showered. I always leave the actual body cleansing for last so that I wash off the shampoo and ACV on my body. I wanted to even more so tonight with all the conditioner dripping.

I still have my hair in the turbie drying. I'll see how it feels and looks in the morning. Stay Tuned.

Monday, 24 May 2003 Update: I washed again last night after 3 days between the last wash. I might have gotten away with one more day, but I didn't feel like risking looking like a greaseball at work. I did the same routine as before: CO wash, rinse and repeat, leave on while showering, rinse well, ACV rinse and comb out.

I'm not so sure what to expect about this just yet. My flakes have gone for now. My hair feels clean, go figure. I don't know about body, I think it's got a bit more body. And the ends? hmmmm, well I haven't noticed, but they look good now. So, for now, my hair likes CO washes.


Sunday, 20 June 2003 Update:  I'm ending the experiment.  I've used the entire bottle of conditioner (it was a huge bottle too, bigger than their normal size)  My hair isn't that different and I've got to wash more often.  I think the flakes have disappeared because of the season so I'm not convinced the CO washing does anything for me at all.   I'll go back to my usual routine and see if the ends are better/worse and decide.

LHC Party of Five

Went to Dallas this past weekend for a longhair gathering of sorts. It was fun meeting two new ladies along with Teacherbear and Dulci. For all the details, check out the post at LHC. There are pictures too.

I learned some new things.

• Euphraysne showed us how to do the french twist on our long hair. Looks good and with some practice I'm hoping to master it.
• Kate said she's sold on CO washing. Her hair is soft soft soft. She's the latest of the bandwagon and I'm gonna try it too.
• Kate also told about her Split Ender and how she likes it. I've been thinking about this one, and might just go buy it and give it a try.
• I still don't like wine. I got really sick after drinking wine with our dinner. no.more.wine.

Fiesta 2004

We haven't really done a lot of Fiesta events in the past. It's a fun time, but can be so crwoded. There are a bunch of different events you'd think there would be a few that aren't crowded, but it isn't so anymore.

But this year Fran and I took the kids to the carnival. They block off a large section of streets and parking lots right smack in the middle of downtown. There are rides and games and food everywhere. It's a big event and lasts the entire Fiesta - two weeks worth I think it is.

I heard on the radio about the armband pass. Usually the bands are good for Monday-Thursdays, but not this time. You buy the pass before Fiesta for $15.00 and it is good for any day of the carnival. I wasn't sure exactly how much the rides were, but I figured if the rides were $2.00 each, then 8 rides is easy to do by the kids. I bought the tickets hoping to go on the last Saturday of Fiesta.

Fran has always wanted to go to King Williams Fair. It's supposed to be one of the smaller, lesser known festivals. So we plan on going to King Williams Fair around noon and then head over to the carnival when we got tired of King William

A question of length

I'm approaching classic length (that's when your hair reaches just past your butt) and am thinking this will be it. I like my length, it's still easy to care for - I can manage to get the brush all the way through in a sweep - and it is longer than the average person. I like being just a little different, but not overly so. So classic will be my home.

And with that decision, it will require trimming more often than once or twice a year. Besides I'd like to see if by staying at this length whether or not my ends will be any healthier and thicker than what they are now. They look pretty good as is, but can it be better? ah, the constant quest for better, stronger, prettier. sigh.

Caution - under construction

I'm adding commenting features to my pages. I'm looking forward to my pages being a little more interactive. It also has a trackback feature, but I'm not sure if that will be of any use for me. I'd appreciate it if you would leave a comment in a post that suits your fancy. Then I can test this commenting system and see if I've got it set up properly. Thanks for your patience.

Port Aransas Trip

Alan and I are learning to get along. I have to admit the fights are less and not as inflamed. He knows I do not back down anymore.

With all that said, he accomplished a major feat. He got all Bs and even one A for this semester! I was so excited I couldn't believe it. AND to add to the success he also maintained an E for behavior! An E when before he got an N or maybe the bottom of the S. An E!

This past weekend I took the kids to Port Aransas to the Sand Festival. It was a good time, but before we left town, Alan starts copping an attitude. Scowling face, hands folded in front, he wasn't in a good mood. He didn't want to go, he didn't like where he was sitting for the time being, he didn't like me telling him what to pack (and he didn't pack what I told him to pack.) He didn't like where we were eating dinner either. Nothing was going his way, so I set him aside and told him if he preferred he could stay with grandma and the dogs because I certainly didn't want his attitude to sour the trip. I also reminded him that last year he missed out on the coast trip because of his attitude and this year could be a repeat of that. He quickly changed his mind and I got his agreement that he'd try to be happier. For the most part it worked.

I really need to work on his reposnes to me. I'm constantly being told when to hush up by him. I don't like it. We were in line for ice cream and Alan turns to me and does a 'Mom be quiet' to me. I straight out tell him 'you don't talk to me like that. Go sit in the car' and he went without ice cream that night. He didn't bother to apologize either. I was going to talk to him about it later, but decided to let it ride and not dredge it up. But I will save it for reference later.

Vacations

Since we went on a winter vacation, I wasn't planning on a long summer vacation this year. Mostly we will go to Fiesta Texas and down to the coast for a weekend or two.

This past weekend was the Texas Sand Festival in Port Aransas. Because it was raining at home and the weekend forecast wasn't any better, I decided to head for the beach. It was a lot of fun- the kids played in the water and I looked at the sculputures. I'd like to go each year. for pictures, go to the photos page for a link.

Now my sister is thinking about a train trip to New Orleans. I think it's worth looking into. I've always wanted to ride a train. I've ridden smaller routes - Williams to Grand Canyon, scenic Texas trains, and trains in Japan but what I'm talking about is a longer route. One that you have to sleep on. That would be a real training trip.

Hair Toy Storage idea

My hair toys are taking over my bedroom. I've got the following:

• wire basket of scrunchies
• wire basket of hair bands
• wire basket of jaw clips
• wire basket of hair barrettes, Ficcares, and Scandanavian Delights
• plastic circle containing bunjiis
• plastic circle containing elastics (hair friendly ones of course)
• small glass container of plastic elastics (used for braid ends, one time use)
• container of hair pins
• cup full of hair sticks (Mei Fas anyone?)
• drawer full of various other stuff that won't fit in the above

Varbalow posted her solution - a hanging basket! I've got one in the kitchen that's usually empty. Her idea is perfect for me. I've got to buy a hangar and try it ASAP.

ACV rinsing update

The new method of ACV rinsing is working well. I'm sticking with it for a while. I'm almost out of shampoo. I've got a few bottles of various Suave stuff already when it was on sale (how can a .99 bottle of shampoo be any cheaper?) so I'll use one of those. When you wash once or twice a week a bottle of shampoo can last forever. I'll have to mark the bottle, ask my daughter not to use any of it and see how long it actually takes.

I'm not using shea butter anymore either. It's not that I don't like it, it's more that I'm lazy and forget to do it. With a hit and miss regimen I can't ever get a good idea of whether it's of any good for my hair. I still use it religiously on my legs and face. I love my perfumed shea butter

Hair Toys - Bunjiis and Ficcares

Brad the bunjiidude has some pretty lampwork beads on his bunjiis and of course I bought some. I think I bought a total of five, mostly greens and blues but there is an orange one too. I like wearing them, they are pretty and unique enough without being weird. I wish they had silver side hubs, but the normal black hubs are good too.

I also got a pair of Ficcare hair sticks. They are about 6" iirc (if I remember correctly) and the tips are dipped in what appears to be a dark tortoise color. The sticks are square shaped too. I can't wait to wear them. I think they will be awesome and might even be the set I keep in my purse.

Topsy Ponytail

At LHC (see link to the right) we are doing a HairStyle of the Week. I thought it was a neat idea to capture a different style each week and see how everyone does that style. It's come aoubt pretty well and there are some great and easy looks. Some I hadn't thought about. This week it was ponytails and I snapped this photo of my topsy tail ponytail. I'm in love with topsytails, I like the flipped parts so much. I wish I could get a bigger flip all around a la Gibson Girl.

Update

I'm going to try and update this page every day with a log of how Alan and I interact.

I'm still having troubles with Alan, but not as much. Maybe I'm glossing over it because I'm just too tired to deal with it. I still have to ask him if he's brushed his teeth, his hair, and has deoderant on before school. And homework continues to be a battle.

Today he woke up yelling at Grace to turn off her alarm clock. Grace corrected it, but not without some words from her. Alan's alarm doesn't go off again. He and I argue about the time it should be set (he:6am me:6:30am) and thus he messes with the controls to where it is totally screwed up.

I finally get up and ask what he's doing - playing with the dogs. He's brushed his teeth and hair, but hasn't got any shoes nor deoderant on. And his notebook is still on the table waiting to be put into his backpack.

Once again, I tell him about the basic chores he needs to do and the magnet board in the hall that has the reminders for him. He jsut says he forgets.

Grace got her report card and did very well. She had all A's and two B's. She's doing well in volleyball too. They moved her to B team but she's getting more play time. It's better being first string on the B team that being second string on the A team. Now the season is over and the A team plays in the tournament. Grace might get to play, as some of the A team kids can't play due to poor grades. She'll find out today.

Cinnamon Buns, Fragrant EOs, and Shampoo Update

I'm not very good at doing cinnamon buns - the kind that lay flat against your head. Mine tend to go vertical on me and then become a bee butt. So I've been trying to make an attempt at cinnamon bun whenever I put my hair up. It ain't easy, I think I'm winding too tightly. This morning, however, I had just washed my hair and so it was wet. I combed it out and decided to put it up anyways. I got a good looking bun in two attempts. I used hair pins to hold it up and then a hairstick with a connecting dangle for decoration. I just got this stick (I can't remember where though!) and wasn't so sure about how to wear it. But I've got it in and the dangle is hanging below the bun. It looks nice I think. I'll keep playing with it in the hopes of finding a great look.

Sorry, but I don't have any pictures today.

This past weekend I bought my favorite perfumes, Ombre Rose and Cool Water, from the International House of Fragrance and it came to me that I could use the fragrances in my hair! It is a waste for me to wear normal perfumes and colognes because the scent disappears so quickly. My dad found this guy (retired from Fabrege) who made reproductions and I've been a loyal customer ever since -- and this was back in '80 waaaay before repro fragrances were popular. Anyways, I added 10 drops of Ombre Rose to my daily shea butter jar and it smells awesome! I use the shea butter on my freshly shaved legs, on my dry face and elbows and now I'm smelling great too.

And I've been trying something new in rinsing too. Usually I shampoo standing up with my hair down my back. Then I'd rinse bent over with my hair in front. I always felt I was ignoring the front part of my hair even though I made a determined effort to rinse well. So I've decided to rinse in the same position as I do the shampoo. That will ensure the front is rinsed well which is the problem area. I did it today and I haven't seen a flake yet! I'm holding my breath though. I sure hope this is a solution.

Symposium

Funny thing. I was going through all my mail and found the usual newspaper from the hospital. I skimmed through it figuring I wouldn't find anything of interest (again) and toss it. But I read one small article about a symposium on ADHD kids. That wasn't the interesting part - it was two sessions in particular - one on ODD kids and the other on Not Fighting to Get Homework Done. Oh my God, He does work miracles! Help is right here. I cut out the article and called the first thing in the morning and registered.

It was a good seminar. Most of the information was reinforcement, and that is always a good thing for a tired mom to hear again. I need boosting and reinforcement! Most of all I came away knowing that I'm on the right track, I'm not alone, and I can find someone who knows what I'm dealing with right here in my own city.

Wrapped and Snapped and Go

I liked the curls so much I'm attempting this again. I bought another set of the curlers, so now I have 24 to use. I used 21 this time, and will probably use them all the next time I attempt this. I might buy another set so the curls will dry faster. It didn't take much time to wrap, maybe 20 minutes. I'll sleep on them and in the morning use the low setting on my blow dryer to ensure they are dried thoroughly before I go to work. I hope I can find my blow dryer! I haven't used it in years.
	I didn't have to blow dry this morning because my hair was dry! That's good news. Taking out the curlers was easy and simple. I was happy the curls shortened my hair so much. I did notice a place or two that didn't curl as well.
Combing it out was more difficut than I had remembered from just last week. I tried my comb - no good. Then a wider spaced comb - no good. Finally I resorted to my wide wide shower comb and that helped. I also tried a pick and that was okay, but it really didn't comb much. Now I know why so many curly people just finger comb their hair. After combing I did notice one or two spots that didn't curl as much, probably because I had too much hair on the curler. But still I'm very happy. I gave up on really combing out all the hair and settled on just getting the curls to look natural and not like they just came off a curler. I don't know if I achieved my goal, but I pulled it back into my Arizona barette. I call it that because I got the barette in Arizona at an Indian gift shop. I'm sure it can be bought elsewhere.

Everyone at work loved the new curls. Many thought I had gotten a perm; I was so happy to say it was just curls from curlers. The curls lasted longer than I had expected. When I got home I was still very curly but I could tell it wouldn't last much longer. At the end of the day, I tried to comb my hair and instantly knew this was going to be a task from hell. It didn't help that I was extremely tired and just wanted to go to bed. But I knew if I didn't comb now, it would be hell in the morning. And since I'm NOT a morning person, I'll do anything to make my mornings easier.

I laid out my arsenal of combs and sat down in front of the television to numb my mind. Just seperating the hair into two parts was a mess. I was a head of tangles. Using my fingers, I divided my hair and worked on one tiny section at a time. First one comb, then the other, then back again and stopping to work a tangle with my fingers. This was like surgery to me. After the better part of an hour I was done. So I went to bed exhausted and having a grander respect for all the curly and wavy long hair people.

Hell in a Handbasket

I knew it wouldn't last, and I knew it was coming. Alan is now on my shit list once again. Every evening he has homework and he moans about doing it, puts it off, then at the last minute and under screams from me he whips it out and does it. Not well, and sometimes not at all. Now the teacher sends back his work and wants it completed. I don't know how many times she writes SHOW YOUR WORK on the stuff but it doesn't sink in.

So this week is like any other.... Alan finally does it. I ask to see it. Tonight's was a paragraph writting exercise. He brings it over (mad because he has to bring it to me) and we take a look. We do it the same way every time I do any checks with him: look it over one sentence/problem at a time, I ask if it's okay, and if not he tells me what it should be. First few sentences he corrects fine but of couse he tells me that I don't need to ask "is this one okay?" as he knows what to do. The next sentence he thinks is okay but I tell him I think the word 'he' doesn't need to be capitalized. He disagrees. I tell him that he isn't a proper name and it isn't in the beginning of the sentence, so it doesn't need it. He says it does. I say well let's look in your notebook and see if there are other examples. "Mom I don't want you to go proving me wrong, I hate that" I tell him its not personal, but he's wrong and needs to correct it. "NO" I then say that I'm here to help him with his homework, does he need it or not? "No I don't" Fine, I toss his notebook onto the floor and push him off my chair.

The same thing happened last week when he insisted that the days of the week didn't need to be capitalized. I didn't toss his stuff, but the argument was worse.

I've had it with this little shit. He is always right, I'm always wrong. I can't talk the way he wants me to, I don't drive my car properly, I can't fix any food he'll eat, I can't say or choose or do anything right according to him.

Leave me alone

I know what I'm doing

I don't want you telling me what to do

You don't have to tell me, I already know that

Don't bother me

Why didn't you get that instead?

Why did you have to pick me up here, couldn't you have done it there?

Why did you park here?

I don't need to do that

Why is it always me that has to do this?

Why can't Grace do it?

How come you get to pick? I never get to.

over and over and over and over I hear this every single day. I've listened to it for so long that most of it just passes through me. Yes I've learned to ignore most of it. But you know, there comes a time when a child should learn how to speak to a parent, and all of the above is rude and disrespectful.

And if I say anything in reponse to the above, I then enter into an argument about it. I don't want the argument, and I cut him off. STOP IT right there, do not argue with me little boy. But he doesn't listen. And I wind up popping him. I hate it. But let me tell you, I don't hurt him, but boy if you could see his act you'd think the very touch of my skin to his is like pouring acid on him. Which makes me even more angry.

So... either I ignore the rudeness and seem like a parent who lets her son say whatever he wants, or I beat my child. I hate both. I will not stand for this, but I can't see a solution.

Last night I got so mad after sending him to his room without supper, I screamed at the top of my lungs in frustration. And I couldn't calm down, so I got my keys and told Grace I needed to get out of here. Trouble is I was crying so much I didn't want to go far, and I couldn't really go anywhere in that shape. I just wanted to scream forever. I finally made it to Ron's house and I stayed there for a few hours. I called mom and told her just in case.

States I've Been To (in red)

I can't say I've lived everywhere, but I have been to a few states. I will probably get around to visiting them all sooner or later. Some I've only visited briefly on our way to another destination and so I'd like to revist and stay longer. Click here to create your own visited states map They also have a visited country map, but I can count those on one hand: USA, Canada, Mexico, Turkey, England (do airports count?) and Japan. Okay, that's six if you count airports. Oops! I forgot about the cruise! Wow, I can add Puerto Rico, St Thomas, St Kitts, St Lucia, Barbados, and Dominica!

Curls!

>

I've thought about curling my hair for a while now and wasn't sure how I was going to attempt this. I'm hair-implement challenged and have used curlers rarely. I bought some of those wrap snap and go curlers long ago at Claire's to use in my daughter's hair. We never used them. I dusted them off and decided to give it a try. They are more of a spongy stick than a curler. There were only 12 sticks and I knew this was going to be a problem. But I put them in, slept on them overnight and through most of the day. And voila! I like them. I need more of the curlers though, there are some flat spots and my hair would dry faster with more curlers.